


Christmas Eve

by corneroffandom



Category: World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-26
Updated: 2017-12-26
Packaged: 2019-02-22 00:43:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13155546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/corneroffandom/pseuds/corneroffandom
Summary: After leaving WWE, Neville's been angry and depressed for weeks. When this becomes dangerous for those around him, drastic measures are taken to teach him a lesson.





	Christmas Eve

A/N: I wanted to finish this before Christmas but it didn't happen! My apologies. Hope you all had a great holiday season!

 

December 24th. Neville sneers as he flicks at the calendar in disgust. He looks up and over as TJ Perkins, much too cheerful for this time of the night, brushes past, settling a bowl of food in one of the pig's play areas before looking up at him. "What?" Neville snaps, unimpressed.

　

"Just wondering what that calendar ever did to you," TJ says with a chuckle, watching Neville's face darken as he turns to glower at it again. "Let me guess, you don't care for Christmas. Is it a British thing?"  
  
"No," Neville growls. "It's a _I would like to be released from my contract already so I could get back to my life_ thing."

　

TJ mulls over this as he scritches at Pugsley's side. "Yeah," he finally sighs. "I understand."  
  
Neville knows he does, but it doesn't ease his anger. He rolls his eyes and walks away from the calendar, eager to get to his bedroom and close himself up for the night, get Christmas over with and resume the dreary, tedious discussions with WWE as he struggles to convince them to free him. 90 days wait feels a lot better than stagnating for months until his contract expires. At least then he'd have an actual end game to when he could hit the indys and get moving on his career once more.

　

TJ's just turned to call for Cupcake, wanting to feed her once more before bed as well, when she barrels down the hall and almost trips Neville. "Damn pig!" he yells, aiming a kick at her that misses-- almost causes him to slam his toes into the wall, but still. He freezes as soon as he realizes what he's done, turning to look at TJ, pale and tense.

　

He has Cupcake in his arms, hugging her close while he glares at Neville, jaw working. He places her in the playpen with Pugsley, which he doesn't do often, prefering to keep them separated unless he can keep a close eye on them, and storms over to Neville, poking him hard in the chest, crowding him against the wall. Neville is bigger than TJ, but TJ is taller, and in this moment, he really looks scary, not like the smug, nerdy brat he usually is. "Never--" he breathes out. "Never will you ever do that again, not in front of me, not when I'm out of the house, never. Do you understand me?"  
  
Neville is still speechless, both at his actions and at TJ's responding fury.  
  
"DO. YOU. UNDERSTAND. ME?" TJ repeats carefully, loudly, eyes gleaming with hate and anger. He didn't even look like this when Neville betrayed him, beat him thoroughly for the Cruiserweight title.

　

"Yes," he finally says. "I do."  
  
"I want you out of here as soon as the holidays are over with. You have ten days to find an alternate place to stay," TJ tells him, voice now cold, deadened. Like his eyes, as he turns away and leans back in to feed his pigs, play with them a little bit, reassure himself that Cupcake is fine.

　

Neville considers saying something. Apologizing, offering to help feed them like he has in the past, maybe losing spectacularly to TJ in his favorite game, but he knows none of it will help. Starting to feel rankled that he _should_ have to apologize when the pig wasn't even touched, he turns and storms off to his room, finally getting the door shut behind him with shaking, angry hands. He stares blankly at the bed that he's been staying in since 'walking out', coinciding with the week that WWE stopped using TJ and they'd started talking again, deciding to live together for awhile since they were in somewhat similar situations.

　

He rolls his eyes. "What was I thinking? Could've lived anywhere and been happier..." He kicks his pants off, tugs his shirt off, and drops into bed in his tank top and boxers, staring up at the moonbeams dancing off of his ceiling. "Whatever." Rolling over, he punches his pillows a couple of times before collapsing into exhaustion.

　

The sun is shining right in his eyes. He groans and rolls over, grumbling to himself for forgetting-- again-- to shut the drapes to keep the California sun from disrupting his sleep. He flicks the black-out drapes shut and sighs as darkness fills the room once more. One of TJ's more charitable actions, helping him to change the drapes in here so he could sleep easier when he was at his most frazzled, hair stringy and eyes smudged dark from lack of proper sleep. Neville frowns as soon as he remembers the night before-- almost kicking Cupcake and TJ's tense warning, then evicting him effective immediately after the holidays.

　

Neville grits his teeth, considering staying in here until TJ left-- either for a fanmail run, or... But no. He's king of the cruiserweights, and he'd rather die than hide away like some pathetic fugitive. Squaring his shoulders, he grabs a shirt and slacks, pulling them on with a disgusted air before toeing on his shoes and going out. Plans on ignoring TJ until he can get out of the front door, go somewhere-- but...

　

TJ is humming along to music, Cupcake stalking him around the small kitchen, as he cooks breakfast cheerfully. He looks up as if sensing Neville and beams. "Hey, man, Merry Christmas Eve. Want some breakfast?"

　

It's like yesterday never happened, and... TJ's words register with him, making this entire thing even more bizarre. "Wait, what? It's Christmas Day, TJ," he says, so floored that his bitter anger is forgotten as he gapes at the other man, wondering if he's somehow hit his head overnight.

　

TJ blinks at him. Flips the protein pancakes sizzling in the pan before lightly pushing Cupcake aside with his foot before he walks over to Neville and frowns at the calendar on the wall before them. "Nah, man, it's Sunday. See, look, that Christmas party you refused to go with me to was on Thursday, and I did my fanmail run on Friday... I did that grocery run yesterday, and now today... it's Sunday." He smirks a little. "Getting senile in your old age, Adrian?"

　

Neville rolls his eyes, intoning listlessly. "You're older than I am _, Theo_."

　

There's no typical snap in his comeback and TJ's frown grows. "Hey, are you sure you're ok?"

　

"Never better," he mumbles, heading back to his room. Nothing makes sense-- TJ acting like last night had never happened, his thinking it should be Monday. _I've lived Christmas Eve before,_ he thinks. _Haven't I_?

　

But the day is exactly the same as yesterday-- TJ stays at home all day for once, playing video games and trying to get Neville to come out of his room every now and again, finally bringing him a plate with ham, mashed potatoes and sweet potato casserole on it, a fresh out of the oven roll held in a napkin. "There's pumpkin pie in the fridge," he says, fingers tapping against his thigh as he frowns at the former cruiserweight champion. "If you want seconds or anything, I'll be keeping the food warm for awhile on the stove. Come help yourself. Ok?"  
  
He's stubborn, won't leave until Neville acknowledges his words. "Yes," he finally mumbles, nodding his head. This finally seems to console TJ and he retreats with an unhappy air about him. Neville's not sure what's wrong right now, except that he'd gone from feeling angry and bitter, lashing out at anything that acknowledged him to guilty and unsettled. Through a haze of confused deja vu, he can see how TJ is working to help him, keep things together while neither of them are getting what they want or need professionally.

　

Neville knuckles his eyes for a few moments before grabbing the fork and starting in on the plate of food, pleasantly surprised by how good it all tastes. After he finishes, he goes to get the pumpkin pie and watches as TJ feeds Pugsley, holding his breath as Cupcake comes barreling through. There's no inclination and the moment passes without incident. He doesn't kick her this time and TJ laughs over his pets as Neville swallows hard, gets his pie and returns to his room, feeling so adrift and lost in his own world. Absolutely nothing is making sense anymore, not even his own memories.

He barely sleeps that night but when he wakes up, he nearly chokes. The smells of protein pancake, sun shining through his wide opened drapes, and TJ singing to Cupcake as he flips their breakfast again. "Merry Christmas Eve!" he chirps upon noticing Neville.

　

Past guilt, beyond bitter dejection. Neville just feels angry at the repetition. "What's so merry about it?" he snaps. "I'm going out." And he does. Walks long and far, trying desperately to figure out what's going on. Why he keeps reliving Christmas Eve, of all the damned things. _Am I losing my mind?_ he wonders. _Maybe all of this shit with WWE has finally made me crack._ He buries his hands in his pockets and slouches against the humid salty air, close to a beach. He stares at the ocean, so bright and gleaming even from this distance, and groans, trudging through the sand.

  
He kicks his shoes off and buries his feet under the lapping waves, trying and failing to calm down. Nothing's right, his life is a mess, his brain is constantly in a fog without the stress relief of wrestling. He's still going to gym regularly but he can feel his ruthlessness, his expertise fading the longer he's forced to stay out of the ring. _I won't remember how to do a moonsault at this rate,_ he thinks, despair welling up within him. _The Man that Gravity Forgot... more like the man the world forgot._

　

He's so angry that the growl growing in his throat eventually becomes a hoarse scream, mothers carting their children away, teenagers mocking him from a distance as he struggles to regain control of himself, one hand buried in his hair, tearing mercilessly at the strands, while the other scrapes over the sand until his fingernails bleed, grit stabbing up into his nailbeds. He's not screaming anymore but he is making pained, whimpering noises as he storms back the way he came, block after block breezing past him until he finds himself back at TJ's house, slamming the door open and turning in a circle until he sees TJ frozen by some of the material he'd been storing for his house remodel, gaping at him.

　

"Neville--" he just manages to get out before Neville is on him, grabbing him by the collar of his jacket and slamming him into the wall, shock easing into pain and then anger as he tries to break Neville's hold on him. "What the hell are you doing--"  
  
"Stop being so nice to me!" Neville roars in his face, thudding the back of TJ's head against the wall. "I don't deserve any of this! Why are you doing anything nice for me? I _ruined_ your career, you _never_ recovered after I used and abused you and then threw you away like yesterday's trash!" Another thud and TJ hisses out a breath, still trying to break free from Neville's steel-like grip. "Don't you realize I only aligned myself with you because I knew you'd be a good diversion while I kept Aries away from what was mine?! But joke was on me-- once I cut ties with you--" His laugh is manic, desperate, and he shakes TJ again, sending his head back against the wall so hard that he feels the impact shudder up his arms. "I lost my title to _Tozawa! And then to ENZO AMORE!_ Do you know-- do you understand--" He can barely see, his eyes blurry. "I needed you then-- I hated myself for it. I need you now, and I hate myself even more for it--"

　

He chokes down a sob, and moves his hands off of TJ's shoulders, head slumping against his chest as he struggles to contain his emotions. Everything stops as a limp, heavy weight eases against his legs and he swallows, blinking away his tears as he gapes down in confusion. TJ isn't standing anymore-- has slumped down the wall, falling forward to rest against Neville's knee, and... there's a streak of blood down the freshly painted wall... Where Neville had slammed TJ's head against the wall repeatedly. Color draining from his face, he drops down to his knees quickly and supports TJ, taking in his uneven breathing, how pale he is. "TJ? Teddy?" Nothing. No eye flutters, no struggles to speak, nothing. The man is unconscious. Limp.

　

Lifeless.

　

Neville acts. Gets his arms under TJ and carries him out of the house, only just remembering to grab car keys, TJ's wallet, and kick the door shut behind him before dropping TJ into the backseat of his car, driving desperately towards the nearest hospital. Briefly relieved for a wrestler's tendency to google the nearest hospital just in case whenever they end up at a new town, he finds his way there within fifteen minutes and pulls TJ up, trying to ignore the blood pooling in the leather of the backseat as he dashes inside.

　

Neville is as discreet about what happened as he can be, but there are bruises on TJ's shoulders, where his fingers had bit, and almost identical marks on his own wrists and forearm where TJ had tried to break his grip, so he's sure that it's only a matter of time before people piece things together. Get the police involved. Send Neville back to England, get him fired from WWE for real. He stares at TJ's slack face and shakes his head, brushing his fingers gingerly through TJ's hair once they've bandaged him up and are preparing to take him down for scans. He can already feel the suspicious glances, preparing to be kicked out, maybe sent to a police station for a statement to what happened, how to explain away TJ's bruises, his own unnatural marks.

　

They take TJ away for brain scans, try to figure out what's going on with his head, and Neville gnaws at his lips, aware if there'd be a time for the cops to come and take him away, it'd be now. When the patient wouldn't be subjected to any more stress, and... He closes his eyes. Wishes he could wake up to find himself reliving this morning all over again. With TJ whole and healthy, and Neville _not_ facing the prospect of having caused permanent harm to one of the few people who kept in contact with him after he dropped off the grid following his leaving WWE.

　

Aware that none of this can happen easily in this hospital room, Neville stands and walks purposely out of the emergency room, past the waiting room, and follows the signs to the chapel. It's a half-hearted room, small, empty. Pews line the room and there are a couple of people scattered around the room, probably looking for a reprieve like him. He takes a pew in the back, out of sight of the other two, and buries himself as best as he can, relieved for the silence and muffled light as he tries to relax.

　

He can't get the sight of TJ, bleeding and pale, out of his mind, bites back another yell of anger and pain, searching for his inner strength, that stubbornness that used to always get him what he wanted until the losses against Tozawa and Enzo kept racking up. He's struggling to breathe steadily when he remembers-- wrestling TJ, how annoyed he was, how TJ just wouldn't _give up_ , how it started to feel like this competitive dance between the two of them, neither willing to concede even an inch to the other. _Why do you keep making me do this to you?!_ He had screamed it at TJ, frustrated that night. Secretly not wanting their alliance to end, not like this. Not until TJ had disrespected him by forcing the matter on the ramp, in front of the entire world.

　

He groans into the memory, eyes fluttering as he sinks deeper in, imagining how differently things could've been if he'd not been so prideful, if TJ had just taken his claims about Angle at face value. If they'd had more time together.

　

He falls asleep with a rare smile on his face.

　

He can tell before he wakes up. He's back in his bed at TJ's house. That obnoxious sun is pouring in on his face again and he blinks into it, breathing heavily. Kicks the sheets away and makes his way to the kitchen, watching quietly as a perfectly in tact and healthy TJ flips pancakes, nudging Cupcake out of the way with his foot and making his way over to Neville, probably babbling about Christmas Eve and breakfast, and-- Neville grabs him and hugs him tight, breathing in the sharp, almost acrid smell of his shampoo mixed in with the copious amounts of hairgel he uses to keep it from curling up at the smallest provocation.

　

"Hey, are you ok?" TJ asks, awkwardly patting Neville's back. "What happened?"

　

Neville coughs, gingerly pulls away. Looks everywhere but at TJ. "I don't know," he lies wearily. "Bad dream maybe." TJ frowns at him until he realizes the pancakes are burning and rushes over with a curse, bringing a weak smile to Neville's face. Cupcake walks over to him and looks up, their eyes locking for a moment, and Neville frowns down at her before she scurries back over to TJ's side, nudging his leg and begging for a taste of the slightly overcooked pancakes. Of course he obliges her, laughing and rubbing her head as she eats eagerly.

　

Neville watches them for a few moments, his memories-- of kicking her, bashing TJ's head against the wall-- haunting him, leaving him feeling even more claustrophobic. "I," he chokes out. "I need some air." Before TJ can yell after him, he's out. Goes the opposite direction of the beach this time, heads towards where a nearby shopping plaza is. Watches people come and go, busy and desperate for last minute gifts. It had been close. Too close. He almost _killed_ TJ, which even when he was angriest at the man, he'd never wanted _that_ outcome. Or anything close to it.

　

He tugs at his hair, resting his forehead against a glass partition showing off a display of models wearing the ugliest clothes he's ever seen. He feels hot, a headache throbbing close to his temple, and he almost... almost feels like he's about to hyperventilate. It's all too much. His job, this growing tension with TJ, how each damn day keeps being a repeat of the last. He feels like he's forced to watch the same awful movie on a loop, knowing each thing that's about to be said, having to hear it said again and again and again until the power goes, or he collapses in exhaustion, or...

　

It's then that he realizes mall security is talking to him and he pulls away from the smudged glass with a gasp, muttering an apology as he staggers away. Security stays with him, however, the man repeatedly asking what he's on, if he's ill, what's going on, and Neville starts to think this is going to only end poorly for him when a fan recognizes him and demands a picture, and yeah, the kid's obnoxious, but trying to smile and scribbling something weak over his papers is a lot better than the security getting the wrong idea and doing something to make Neville's day even worse. The kid takes so long between autograph, picture, and maybe another autograph because the first got smudged-- Neville takes some satisfaction in knowing that the kid won't even remember this come morning, when time inevitably resets _again--_ that some other emergency happens and the security guard runs off after taking another quick glance at Neville.

　

Neville breathes easier, walks back the way he came, and isn't too surprised to find TJ gone, a note saying he's off to pick up the latest fanmail. Neville grimaces and looks in at the pigs: Pugsley is fast asleep but Cupcake is watching him with a gleam to her dark eyes and he kneels down by her pin. "This is asinine," he mutters. "But I can't help feeling like you know what's going on. Why time keeps rewinding, making me relive days." He stares at her for a few moments, then shakes his head in disgust. "Either you _are_ a supernatural pig, and this is your way of paying me back for nearly kicking you, _or_ I have entirely cracked up." He gets to his feet, dusts his knees off, and trudges back to his room.

　

He can still feel TJ's blood on his hands.

The next morning dawns as it always does. Sunlight. Pancakes. Cupcake. Fanmail. TJ. TJ. _TJ._ Neville looks up and surprises both of them. "I'll come with you," he says. "I need... to get out of here for awhile."

　

"Oh. I mean, you know it's in Vegas, right?" A few hour's drive. Not a huge deal, even if Neville is iffy with TJ's music.  
  
"Let's do it." TJ blinks as Neville brushes past him to go wait by the car.

　

"Well, I mean, sure, why not," he mutters, spinning his keys on his fingers as he goes.

　

After years of traveling with WWE, it had almost been nice just to settle in and not go anywhere further than a few blocks away for Neville, but after all of these weeks, he's curious to see what it's like to go somewhere just for the sake of doing it. As for TJ, he'd been so accustomed to driving all over, not to mention living in his car when he was homeless, that staying at home for too long leaves him itchy sometimes, claustrophobic and desperate for the blue skies and fresh air that takes him from California to Nevada. "Think we can drive for almost four hours without killing each other?" he forces a chuckle, searching Neville's face at the first red light they hit.

　

"We worked together for weeks without the urge, so I'm not sure why this should be the catalyst," Neville says, staring back at him. TJ lifts a shoulder, half-smirking as the light turns green and they creep ahead, waiting through notorious California traffic to get where they need to go. It's slow going but the silence between them is comfortable, companionable. Neville doesn't even mind TJ's music, watching his fingers as they tap against the steering wheel, his lips softly tracing the words as he quietly sings along.

　

He looks over apologetically at one point when he has to stop short, some idiot running a red and almost sideswiping them, but Neville's glower isn't aimed at him, and he exhales. "Asshole drivers, huh?"  
  
"That's one word for it," Neville mumbles, adjusting in the seat as TJ slowly begins to drive once more.

　

All in all, they make good time and Neville stares up at the crystal blue sky overhead as TJ ducks into the post office, quickly grabbing the mail waiting for him. "I don't understand," he admits when TJ returns. "Why do you have it all the way out here when you live a state over?"

　

TJ smirks, leans against the car and stares at him over the roof. "Well, I'm a rolling stone," he cracks. When Neville rolls his eyes, he laughs. "I don't care to stay in one place for too long. Getting a house, but having a PO box a few hours away, was a good compromise with myself. I'm in my 30s, so I can sorta, kinda, settle down, as it were, but also have something where I can drive for as long and as far as I want whenever I want. Besides, it's a good security measure too, no one's going to get close to my house if the closest address they have for it is four hours away."

　

It's smart, Neville admits, ignoring how the thoughts of TJ settling down makes him feel. "What do you know," he cracks. When TJ looks over at him curiously, his teeth flash in a wicked kind of grin. "There is a brain underneath all of that ridiculous hair after all."

　

"Hahaha," TJ says dully, flicking a leaf at him. "Come on, let's go. Do you want to stop somewhere to eat?"

　

They do, Neville ordering some chicken tetrazzini and watching in some morbid fascination as TJ devours a burger and fries in record time, not making a mess despite the speed behind his actions. "I forgot how you could do that," he mumbles, blinking slowly as TJ licks his fingers.

　

"My best event," he laughs, sipping his soda cheerfully and sprawling back against his chair, arms outstretched and completely comfortable as he waits for Neville to finish eating at a more sedate pace, his eyes repeatedly tracing the slope of TJ's shoulders making him go slower than usual.

　

When they leave, it's late afternoon, the sun slipping steadily lower in the sky, and TJ hums. "Looks like we're going to be driving back in the dark part of the way. That alright with you?" he asks, fiddling with his seatbelt.  
  
"Sure," Neville shrugs. Next thing he knows, he has a lap full of TJ's mail. "Hey--"  
  
"You can open them if you want, keep yourself entertained with rolling your eyes at my fangirls," he teases him, pulling out onto the highway.

　

So he does. Most of the letters are gushing notes, there are funkos and shirts, candy and other ridiculous things that only TJ would enjoy, and Neville rolls his eyes, setting aside letter after letter, the messages there making his eyes cross. "Hey, this one says our match on 205 Live was her favorite match of the year," he says, eyebrows raising as he looks over at TJ.

　

"Good taste, I guess," he mumbles, forced on the road as he speeds up, passing a few cars going too slow for his liking.

　

Neville wonders if that match is as fresh in TJ's mind as it is for him, the emotions welling up in him as the last vestiges of their working partnership fell apart around them, TJ refusing just to give up until Neville had given him no choice. He licks his lips and wonders about bringing it up, but then TJ speaks again. "I've always wondered one thing though." He glances over. "Why did you choose me? It could've been anyone you used to keep Aries away from your belt. Just chance, that I would come up to you in the hall that day, or was it something else? I mean, look at Jack Gallagher right now. Kendrick really brought out some fire in him. Why didn't you choose him?"

　

Neville exhales. Remembers his own growing curiosity for the man, the few glimpses he'd caught of him before returning, and afterwards, making no sense against the competitor he'd seen in the Cruiserweight Classic. It had felt like fate that TJ had walked up to him that night, had started picking at him, so he'd twisted things. Woke up a part of TJ that had been asleep for far too long. "I didn't see anything in anyone else," he says. "Gallagher..." he makes a face. "I think in ways he and I are too alike. I wanted a challenge." His cool gaze eases over TJ's body once more, and he smirks. "You always gave me that, even when it pissed me off. Kendrick found what was needed to bring out the anger and fire in Gallagher, I wouldn't have had the same technique or patience for such things."

　

"But you did with me," TJ points out, focus off of the road as he coasts to a stop at another red light.

　

Neville shrugs. "You had it in you all along, I didn't need to do much. Just give you a nudge here and there."

　

TJ hums. Nods. Neither speak for the rest of the drive, Neville almost relieved to get out of the car and stretch his legs once they're home. TJ is staring at him curiously as they stand on opposite sides of the car. "Hey. Neville." When he looks up, TJ is smiling, one of those oddly sincere expressions that Neville's only gotten to see from him rarely since working with him last spring. "Thanks for, you know, everything."

　

Neville nods, feeling oddly overwhelmed. He knows deep down that TJ means more than just for accompanying him to Nevada. The look on TJ's face sticks with him as he prepares for bed a couple of hours later, loathe to let this day become nothing more than a memory for him alone.

Neville blinks into the sun the next morning and sighs. Stretches and scrubs at his face. Can feel the lingering stiffness of being cooped up in a vehicle for hours, even though technically it never happened. He sighs and pads out of the bedroom, leaning against the doorframe and staring at TJ as he moves around Cupcake and flips the pancakes yet again. After a few moments, TJ looks up and smirks at him. "Hey, good morning. Want some?" he waves his spatula at Neville and his eyes glint when Neville nods.

　

"Yeah."  
  
"Ok, great." He flips them onto a plate and hands it over before pouring more batter in for himself. Neville takes the plate and goes to the small table off to the side, choosing the seat where he can watch TJ easiest. TJ hums to himself as he finishes up, the hot skillet making this pancake brown up faster. "Oh, are you waiting on me?" he inquires, flipping the pancake again and giving it a minute or two before scraping it up and putting it onto his plate, walking over to the table. "Syrup's here, and butter..." He ducks into the fridge and returns with it, raising his eyebrows at the still patiently waiting Neville. "Are you alright?"

　

"Oh. Yeah, I'm fine," he says, flustered a bit as he reaches for the butter. He realizes he'd been staring this entire time so he forces himself to look away, pours some syrup onto the pancakes and takes a bite. Every other time, he'd found a way not to eat breakfast with TJ but now that he is, he's surprised at how good they are. While most protein pancakes come out bitter or dry, these are fluffy and sweet, and he blinks at TJ, wondering what his secret is. TJ just grins at him and chews on his own food, leaning down to scritch at Cupcake as she winds around his ankles.

　

"I'm going to go to Vegas, get my fanmail later. So you and the piggies will be alone for awhile. That alright?"  
  
Neville stares at Cupcake as she noses at his ankle, leaving a shivery wet feeling up his leg. "Yeah," he mumbles, swallowing. "That's fine."

　

"Great. I'll probably be gone for a few hours, it's like four hours away." Neville nods dumbly, letting the sound of TJ's voice wash over him as he eats, half-listening to TJ talk about his fanmail, his favorite sites in Vegas. It's oddly soothing.

　

By the time TJ leaves, it's late morning and he runs his hand down Cupcake's side, picks Pugsley up and hugs him. "I'll be back soon," he promises his pets. "Be good for Uncle Neville."  
  
Neville rolls his eyes at this, smirking as TJ winks up at him. "Get out of here," he says teasingly and watches as TJ grins. As soon as he leaves, Neville leans against the door and stares back at the pigs. The house feels empty and quiet with TJ's presence and Neville swallows, rubbing at his chest as something clicks with him. "Oh boy," he mumbles. It's only been about ten minutes and he already misses him. "What the hell is happening to me?"  
  
He sits with the pigs, lets them tumble around him. Cupcake is bigger than runt of the litter Pugsley but it's obvious she knows not to be too rough with him, nudging him out of the way whenever he gets too obnoxious. Neville eventually reaches out and lets his hand rub over their bristle-y backs. "Ridiculous things for pets, but I guess you're not that bad, are you?"  
  
Cupcake stops and looks at him, and he stares back at her, that niggling suspicion once more making itself known to him. The moment breaks, however, and she resumes chasing Pugsley around until Neville decides to put them back in their pens and play one of TJ's video games until he comes back.  
  
Even that feels boring, however, the computer players nowhere near the challenge competing against TJ. Before one game is complete, he stops it and turns the system off, instead retreating to his room to get a book. He doesn't stay in there, however, for once stretching out on the couch and picking up where he'd left off a little over half-way through. Since leaving WWE, he hasn't felt like reading, or doing anything that he used to, so miserable and bitter with the way things shook out since he'd lost the title.  
  
It's comforting to lay here, surrounded by the familiar sounds of TJ's house settling, the pigs snuffling around in their play areas. He barely makes it a couple of pages before his eyes slip closed, the book rests against his chest, and he falls into a deep, warm sleep.

　

TJ's fingers are soft, warm against his scalp as he wakes up later, realizing that it's dark in the living room and both pigs are asleep as well. "Hey, man. Didn't want to wake you up, but this couch isn't the most comfortable thing to sleep on. No point in jacking your neck and back up, right?" He laughs as Neville sits up, rubs at his eyes. There's a soft look on his face that Neville can't help but gape at, blinking owlishly before fumbling around. "Oh, here, I think they fell off while you slept," he says, carefully putting Neville's glasses back in his hand. "You alright?"  
  
"Yeah," he mumbles. "Guess I haven't been sleeping that great lately." Not necessarily true, but considering how days keep repeating, his body probably doesn't know the difference.

　

TJ hums and then turns, voice soft. "C'mon, guys, wake up, it's time to eat." Both pigs immediately stir and TJ wanders off to the kitchen to get their evening baby food. Neville staggers to his feet and stretches before settling by the pens, running his fingers through his hair as TJ returns. "Oh, are you gonna help?" he wonders, handing over Pugsley's apple cinnamon baby food.

　

"Might as well," he says, leaning in and easing Pugsley out, carefully feeding him from the jar. "How was Vegas?"  
  
"Good," TJ nods. "Someone said our match was their favorite of 2017." Their eyes lock and TJ smiles at him, Neville feeling that pressure in his chest again.

　

He exhales shakily and turns his attention back onto Pugsley, feeding him another spoonful. _I'm falling for this guy,_ he realizes.

　

It's not as terrifying a prospect as it could be.

Neville goes with TJ to Vegas again when he wakes up on yet another Christmas Eve. Full and warm from the pancakes, from the afterglow of TJ's fingers brushing against his when they'd both grabbed at the syrup at the same time. He lets TJ play his music loud, content to listen to him singing along, and he thinks for one wild second that Vegas is beautiful, despite never having use for the place before. He leans against the car and waits as TJ collects his mail and comes back out with the now familiar pile.

　

They drive languidly through the cities and towns back to California, stopping again to eat at the same place they'd been before, and this time Neville gets the burger too, and they split a large order of fries, TJ laughing when their hands brush again over the ketchup bottle or among the fries, sending fun little sparks up Neville's palm, his heartbeat racing with each touch. Wonders if TJ feels it too, or if to him it's just another inane moment of his day. They read over his mail together, although Neville already knows what's inside and he swallows when TJ forces a sweater someone had sent him over his head, smirking.

　

"You look great in that," he laughs, watching as Neville picks at the ugly Christmas sweater to do with Dragonball Z.

　

"Do they not realize you live in California?" he snarks, feeling itchy and over-warm in the thick article of clothing. Or maybe it's because of how TJ's eyes are shining as he laughs, his teeth flashing in the overhead lights. Neville swallows down the sudden urge to lean over the table, grip TJ by the back of his head and kiss him until he's doing something better than laughing. Blinks hard and wonders where that impulse came from, though he thinks he knows.

　

"Man, come on, you're going to overheat," TJ says and before Neville can make his limbs work, TJ's standing before him, Neville blinking repeatedly when he feels TJ's fingers brush under the clothing, against his abs, the sweater getting pulled off of him as unceremoniously as it'd been pulled on, TJ tugging his shirt back down once the sweater is off and dropped onto the back of the chair across from them. "There you go," he laughs, brushing Neville's messy hair out of his eyes. "All better."  
  
Neville breathes, more curious warmth pooling in his veins as he stares up at TJ. "Uh, thanks," he mumbles, fighting the urge-- again-- to kiss him. TJ doesn't seem to notice, returning to his seat and finishing off his burger with a passion that Neville finds himself somewhat jealous of, still frozen in his seat until TJ smiles over at him again. He only then finds the strength to lift his own burger and take another bite, trying to distract himself from other sensations still creeping along his skin.

　

Another morning, another repeated day. Neville frowns and stares at TJ as he putters around the kitchen, talking about Vegas again. "Hey," he speaks up, voice cracking nervously. When TJ stops and looks back at him, he exhales. "Why don't we go somewhere? Vegas can wait until after Christmas, right?" He thinks about the mall, about the beach. There's really so little of this part of California that he's seen, even less of it that he's seen while in the right frame of mind. When he hadn't been angry or guilty, or both.

　

"Where do you want to go?" TJ wonders, eyes wide and so dark in surprise that Neville has to clear his throat just to make his vocal chords work properly.

　

"You pick, show me around. I know you've wanted to." TJ had offered quite a lot when Neville had first arrived, but had always been shot down-- Neville too fixated on getting his contract nulled, then too angry to move when it'd seemed like things would work out with his career just to fall through again, leaving him in this disgusting limbo.

　

His entire face lights up. "Really? Ok, awesome, let me just finish these, we'll eat and then... sure, I'm thinking of a few places."

　

Neville smiles a little as TJ serves them, the two of them eating in quiet companionship as he tries not to worry _too_ much about whatever TJ has planned, all of this going against his base British nature.

　

"Ready for an adventure?" TJ asks with a laugh about half an hour later, holding the door open for Neville.

　

"Sure," he intones dryly, smirking as TJ grins and unlocks the car, both of them dropping into their seats. Neville raises an eyebrow at him as he starts the car up and drives off. "So where are we going?" TJ smirks at him, keeping mum, and Neville sighs, accepting his fate as TJ taps his fingers against the steering wheel cheerfully. Once TJ parks and gets out fifteen minutes later, Neville blinks. "What is this, TJ?"

　

"A whale watching tour!" he exclaims, waving his hand at the vessel named Indian. "Come on, Nev, it'll be great." Swayed both by TJ's enthusiasm, he sighs and follows along, blinking as TJ pays for two tickets onto the next tour.

　

"I can--"  
  
"I got it," he insists cheerfully, leading the way through the people crowding around. "I've wanted to do one of these for so long." He rocks back and forth on his feet, Neville's eyes flicking from the water to his face, as drawn to his excitement as he is to the leaping whales in the water, lips twitching up as TJ laughs when he gets splashed by one of the errant flops close to the boat.

　

Reaching out, Neville brushes aside a curling strand of his hair and blinks when TJ smiles at him before turning his attention back to the water. The tour ends all too soon, boat returning to dock as its passengers filter off. "So where are we going next?"  
  
TJ laughs at him, brushing a towel through his hair. "You'll see," he says, handing over the towel offered by the tour captain for Neville to do the same. It's still warm and smells like TJ. He wonders how much trouble he'd get into for keeping it as he runs it over his face and hair. With some reluctance, he lays it down and follows TJ out to the car, trying to figure out where they're going this time.

　

He blinks when TJ parks again. "A cinema?"  
  
TJ laughs at the look on his face. "Do you like the Marx Brothers? There's a double feature of movies here that they only air on Christmas Day. There's one more stop after this, if you want, and then we can go home."  
  
Neville shrugs. Knows he has nothing better to do, that tomorrow this all will just repeat anyway, one way or another. "Sure, why not?" He follows TJ in and they order ridiculously priced popcorn and soda, TJ of course getting a box of candy and Neville rolls his eyes at him, smirk tugging at his lips, as they head into the shadowy theater. Neville isn't much for comedy movies but TJ's amusement is contagious and eventually he gives in, laughing here and there at the stupidity on the screen. The second film is no better, but TJ is enjoying it all so much, Neville finds it easier to endure by keeping an eye on TJ, watching the joy on his face. Then their hands meet over the popcorn bucket and TJ looks over at him, a soft look on his face as he laughs and squeezes Neville's fingers before pulling away to let him have first dibs on the warm popcorn within.

　

Neville shivers.

　

The final stop of the day is an ice skate rink and Neville quirks an eyebrow, looking over at TJ. "Seriously?"

　

"Seriously," he chuckles, already heading to pay and get fitted for his skates.

　

"You don't _have_ to pay for me, you know," Neville grouses, not that surprised when TJ ignores him cheerfully. He sighs, gets his skates and follows TJ out to the ice.

　

TJ grins at him, hair gleaming in the sun overhead. "You're not going to fall, are you?" he asks, easily gliding out onto the ice in a way that makes Neville forget what he's supposed to do for a few moments.

　

"No," he finally says, easing onto the ice. He's always been good at a lot of different sports, but it's been awhile since he had the time for something like this, so he goes slow. Skates in even, solid movements, glancing over in time to see TJ skid past him, breaking sharply and beaming when small pieces of ice rain down upon Neville. He laughs, then grins abashedly. "Sorry about that," he says, skating closer to Neville and brushing some off of his shirt. "Alright?"  
  
Neville tilts his head, then skates sharply ahead before turning around and skating as quickly as he dares towards TJ. It takes a few moments for him to realize Neville _isn't_ going to stop, then his eyes widen and he turns around and skates off, Neville weaving in and out of groups of people skating around, chasing TJ around the rink. His muscles are straining, unused to this level of physicality after so long out of the ring, but he keeps going until TJ cries out, "I give! I give!" and skids to a stop by the wall, turning to face him.

　

His eyes widen with fresh worry when Neville doesn't move to stop right away, though he does ease back on the speed, skidding to a stop right in front of TJ. "Ah, I scared you," he chuckles, lightly slapping TJ's cheek before he stops, his hand easing down until it's cupping TJ's jaw, Neville searching his eyes. _He won't remember this tomorrow,_ he reminds himself with some bitterness. Leans in, resting their foreheads together as he stares into TJ's eyes, trying to gauge his emotions at this sudden closeness. Seeing no fear, just confusion, he eases in and presses a kiss to TJ's lips, surprised by how soft and welcoming they are. He shivers as need and hunger race through his body, a soft noise punched out of his throat as he digs his nails into TJ's jaw and kisses him again, forgetting that they're out in public. TJ isn't being very reactive and Neville frets for a moment, pulling away a little and breathing out, "Teddy..."

　

This seems to bring TJ back into awareness and he moans faintly, lips parting as Neville kisses him again, lightly exploring as he licks into TJ's willing mouth. TJ's nails dig into his shoulders and the pain reminds him they're in public and he hesitantly pulls away, resting his forehead against TJ's. "Home," he says softly, and TJ nods, eyes dark and face flushed as they skate to the exit, quickly unlacing the rented skates and reclaiming their shoes. The drive back to TJ's is quiet, reflective, and Neville wonders what he'll do if the time it takes to get from point A to point B will be enough for TJ to change his mind. This worry is proven unfounded as TJ grips his arm as soon as they're inside, drawing him in and kissing him, clearly eager to dive back into where they were before.

　

And Neville is right there with him as they fumble through the dark living room, TJ laughing as they both grab for a light switch, their fingers dancing together until they find it and send light coursing throughout the room, the pigs immediately coming to life, but both men ignore them as they grip each other's shirts, TJ breathing heavily and arching against him as Neville scrapes his blunt nails along TJ's back, pulling TJ's shirt up and off and tossing it away before easing his lips down TJ's jaw, along his throat

  
Everything stops, however, when Neville's affections cause TJ to thud his head back against the wall and exhale a soft moan, his eyes fluttering closed. Neville immediately pulls away like he's on fire, still seeing the blood on his hands. Feels the nausea welling up within him once more from that day-- when he'd hurt TJ against this very wall. "No, no," he mumbles, finding it hard to breathe suddenly.

　

TJ's eyes snap open. "Nev?" he asks, reaching out for him. "Hey, what's--" Neville scrambles backwards, avoiding his touch, and TJ's jaw drops. "What's wrong?"

　

"I hurt you," he gasps. "So badly. I can't do it again. I'm sorry, this was a mistake." He doesn't even give himself a second to observe the shock spreading along TJ's pale face before turning and running to his room, closing himself in. Slumps down by his bed, hugging his knees to his chest and tries to catch his breath, ease the pain spreading through his chest at the memories of that day-- erased now, but still so clear to him.

　

TJ leaves him alone and Neville falls asleep there, eager for a new version of this day.

He wakes up in bed. Snorts in amazement that it really does repeat so thoroughly no matter what he does. He detangles himself from the sheets and sits on the edge of the bed, remembering yesterday. The kisses, how warm and welcoming TJ felt under his fingers. Forcing himself to stop because... because he's hurt TJ enough, physically, emotionally. "I should leave," he mumbles. "Maybe that's what the damn pig wants, maybe then life would resume normally." He gets up. Stares at himself in the mirror and shakes his head. Despite knowing that he's slept better the last few days than he has in a long time, his body still thinks he's been sleep deprived for months, a tired, sunken look about his eyes.

　

Keeps his distance from TJ, refuses his pancakes quietly, and goes outside for a walk around the neighborhood until the house is quiet, empty. TJ off to Vegas. For a moment, Neville feels sad that only he remembers their adventure from the day before-- the whales, those dumb movies, ice skating. He closes his eyes and sighs softly, digging his knuckles into his eyes. Returning to the house, he kneels by the pigs' play area and stares at Cupcake, who stops nosing at a toy and stares back at him. "I'm leaving. That's what you want, right? You can stop repeating this day now. You'll never see me again."  
  
Feeling foolish for talking to her, he gets back up and goes to his room, collecting his few belongings and calling a taxi. He's on his way to the airport within the hour, using his phone to select a flight back to England. Close to 12 hours, and then it'll be Christmas Day when he arrives, and TJ's life will have returned to normal, and everything can move on like expected. He'll get free from WWE, TJ will either get used again or move on to the next place-- he'll be fine either way-- and it'll be like the last week's worth of Christmas Eve has never happened.  
  
Stares at himself in the rear view mirror and tries not to laugh bitterly. _As if it'll be that easy,_ he thinks, still feeling TJ's warmth under his fingers. _Had to be done though._

　

He feels like a weight's been lifted off of his shoulders when he boards the plane. Puts his carry on in the overhead department and sits down in his seat, following the instructions as they take to the skies. Inhales heavily and feels at home here, on this random plane like so many random planes he's been on the last few years. Tilts his head back and feels tension leaving his shoulders, exhaling softly. Closes his eyes and thinks about England, how much he's missed it and its simplistic dreariness. "Home sweet home," he mumbles before sleep claims him.

　

He wakes up with a startled yell, jerking away from the sheets and pillows tangled around his body, shocked. It's morning, sun is shining down his face, and... he can hear TJ down the hall, making pancakes. " _No!"_ he moans out, throwing himself back into his pillows. "I left this place! Why would she bring me back?"

　

He stays there until TJ comes to check on him, hand warm on his back. "Hey, man, I made pancakes. If you want some, I'll keep 'em warm for you."

　

Neville waits until he leaves to tear into his sheets, anger and sadness welling up within him. Although a lot of bad had been erased with these repeated days, so had a ton of good, and Neville misses the look on TJ's face when he'd kissed him, how he'd sounded when Neville's nails trailed up his back. Wishes for a wild moment that he hadn't stopped that day, had experienced everything TJ had to offer, had replaced all of the bad memories against that wall with much better ones. Chokes down a breath and listens until TJ leaves for Vegas a couple hours later, not bothering him about it.  
  
He staggers out of bed and into the living room, certain he looks like a mad man as he leans in and catches Cupcake, lifting her until they're eye to eye. "What do you want from me?" he asks gruffly, "Bloody what?!" He starts to say it over and over again, louder each time, Pugsley whimpering and panicking in his own pen. Neville blinks back to awareness and stares at the squealing pig in his hands, choking down a scream before placing her back in her pen safely. "Sorry. I'm sorry," he mumbles, shame washing over him as he remembers that almost hurting her is what started all of this in the first place.

　

"What is _wrong_ with me?" He stares at himself in the mirror, grimacing. He looks awful. Hair stringy, eyes blood shot, skin sallow. It takes a lot of deep breathes, some deep thinking. "I'm never getting out of this," he mumbles. "Doesn't matter what I do, if I'm awful, if I'm nice, if I scream or cry... I can't even escape to England. I'm stuck here. With TJ. Forever." He stares himself in the eye and groans. "He won't even remember no matter how many times I tell him or ways I prove it to him, but... I'm falling in love with him." The old Neville would've taken what he wanted without thinking twice, pressed him against the wall he'd almost killed him at and not even think twice about it, would've scoffed and rolled his eyes at the whale tour, the movies, the ice skate rink.

　

This realization, saying it aloud, brings fire back to his deadened eyes, he showers, dresses nicely, tucks his damp hair into a thin ponytail, even changes his sheets and throws the destroyed set away, not wanting any other signs of his slow descent into madness around, and waits for TJ to return. Meets him at the door after listening to the car door slam and TJ's footsteps crunch in the gravel leading up to the porch. Before TJ can say anything, Neville has all of his mail, stacking it up on the nearby table before taking TJ's hand and drawing him flush against him. "We need to talk," he says softly. When TJ tilts his head curiously, dark eyes swallowing Neville whole, he closes his eyes and leans into TJ's warmth.

　

"You look nice," TJ murmurs, running his fingers through the soft hair at the nape of Neville's neck.

　

Neville groans softly at the sparks even this minimal contact is sending through his veins. Needing the distractions to stop, he grips TJ's hands and holds them snugly. "TJ, I've... I've been thinking about this for awhile now," he says, licking his lips awkwardly. He's been here for weeks, yes, but TJ doesn't remember anything from the last week that Neville's been living, the things that are the foundation of Neville's new realizations, his epiphanies. It's going to make this hard to explain, maybe even impossible for TJ to believe. But he forges ahead, needing it said. "You... I." He exhales and this time, TJ rubs his fingers over Neville's knuckles, smiling encouragingly when Neville opens hie eyes and looks at him. "I'm falling in love with you."

　

TJ swallows, stares down at their hands. When he speaks again, it's not what Neville expects him to say. "Could you repeat that?" His voice sounds frayed, like it may snap at any moment.

　

Neville frowns but repeats himself. "I'm falling in love with you."

　

TJ laughs, a rough, frenzied sound as he drops Neville's hands and moves away, sitting down on his couch and burying his face in his hands. Neville watches him cluelessly as his shoulders shake, his face hidden so Neville can't tell if he's sobbing or laughing. Ends up a bit of both as he looks up, cheeks wet as he chuckles hoarsely. "Do you know how many times I've laid in my bed, imagining how it would feel to hear that from you?"

　

Neville freezes. "What?"

　

"I've been in love with you since May," he exhales, twisting his hands together in his lap. "I thought... I thought when you attacked me, took my only chance at winning my title back away from me, that the feelings would fade. But they didn't. I fought Rich, I did everything I could to try to distract myself from you, but it... it didn't work. I would catch glimpses of you backstage and it'd feel like my heart stopped for a few moments, but you never even looked at me. When you lost your title to Tozawa, you looked so dead inside, I wanted to do _something_ for you, but there was.... was nothing that you would've let me do. So I stayed on the sidelines, watched as you regained it. Then Enzo came and ruined everything, and I just... I hated seeing it again. That defeated look on your face."  
  
Neville bites his lip. Looks away, a niggling suspicion making itself known to him once more. "TJ, why aren't they using you anymore?"

　

He laughs. "Enzo had more pull than any of us realized early, what do you know? I was very... hmm, vocal, about what I thought he was doing to our division. Would tell anyone who listened, and I guess he didn't like it very much." TJ locks eyes with Neville. "I suspected he knew more than most what feelings I was harboring for you, and he must've thought it made me dangerous, especially after things fell apart between you and the company. I was distracted, sloppy that week, and let Swann sweep me in that 2 out of 3 falls match. It didn't take much after that for him to convince those who matter not to use me anymore, I guess."

　

"But how would he have been able to guess how you felt?" Neville mumbles, head spinning with all of this.

　

TJ shrugs. "Did you ever see the way he looked at Cass, even after Cass betrayed him? If anyone understood unreciprocated feelings, it'd be that guy."

　

"Right," Neville sighs. Shakes his head, forces thoughts of Enzo away and sits down next to TJ, reaching out for his hand. "I understand if this is too little, too late, but--" _I do love you and even when you wake up tomorrow and forget all of this, I'll remind you again and again and agai--_ His thoughts are disrupted by warm pressure against his lips and he blinks, staring at TJ as he kisses him.

　

"It's not," he exhales, pulling away a few inches, his breath puffing warmly against Neville's lips. "Too late, I mean. You'll have to make it up to me, of course, but I think I can forgive you your slowness."

　

Neville smiles. "I can do that," he says softly, easing TJ back against the couch and kissing him, eyes gleaming as he eases his hands up under his shirt, feeling TJ shiver and whimper into his mouth as he runs his fingers over his ribs, along the ridges of his abs, down his hip bones, relieved to touch him again, to toss the shirt away from them so he can resume what they'd started a couple days ago. He noses into TJ's throat, kisses down his chest. Slides back up to claim his mouth, lightly biting his lip as TJ stares up at him, fire in his eyes as he arches up against Neville, unbuttoning his shirt with trembling fingers that causes Neville to hum into his mouth, the pressure of skin on skin leaving both of them overwhelmed and breathing heavily.

　

It's late when they stir, TJ huffing out a soft laugh against Neville's cheek. "This couch is awful, oh my God," he groans.  
  
"I don't know, I kind of like it," he says, scraping his teeth along TJ's shoulder.

　

"Of course you'd say that," TJ mumbles. "You're using me as a pillow." He laughs and shifts. "Come on, get up for a second, let's go to bed. It'll be more comfortable."  
  
Neville sighs. "Alright." He dreads that, having not really slept, just spending the last few hours watching TJ, listening to him breathe, reliving the last few hours again and again with a soft smile on his face. He knows when he sleeps, this day will have disappeared, TJ won't remember their conversation, or everything that had followed it. It'll always be an important part of Neville, however, and he sighs, unwavering from his decision to spend as much of his life as he needs to to remind TJ of what they mean to each other.

　

TJ hums as Neville gets off of him, stretching lazily and smirking when Neville's eyes glide over his body. "Like what you see?" he snarks, laughing when Neville's face flushes. "C'mon," he urges, reaching out and easing his fingers between Neville's. "Let's go... maybe we can retry some of what we were doing earlier when I won't have couch springs digging into my back and everything."

　

Neville half-smiles. "Gimme a minute, I'll be right with you," he promises, lifting TJ's hand and lightly kissing his knuckles before letting him go. TJ shrugs and disappears down the hall, Neville watching him go, before kneeling by the pig's playpen again. Cupcake stirs at his presence and Neville ghosts a hand along her back. "I don't know what I can do to fix this," he admits to her. "If there's a way for me to break free from this repetition so I can live a normal life with TJ... and I'm just missing it. There must be some piggy logic behind this, huh?" He laughs dryly and shakes his head. "I really must love TJ, he's got me talking to you like you understand what I'm saying."

　

He can hear TJ humming to himself down the hall and swallows hard as affection washes over him. "But I'll take what I can get. Even if I'm the only one who can remember the good days. I'll take it, because I... I feel empty without him. I can't live like that anymore. Not after... everything." He scritches Cupcake under the chin and smirks. "For what it's worth, I am sorry for almost kicking you that first day. I wasn't in a good place. I'm still not, in ways, but I'm trying. I really am." Getting up, he brushes his hands off and walks into his bedroom, eyes gleaming as he takes him in, relieved that he had had the foresight to change his bedding after earlier. "I'm surprised you didn't go to your own bedroom."  
  
"I wanted you to be comfortable," he says, reaching out for Neville. "Figured this would..." He's quieted immediately as Neville kisses him hungrily, gripping him around the waist and drawing him close.

　

"It's after midnight," he says, relieved that he's stayed awake long enough to say this for once. "Happy Christmas, Teddy."

　

TJ laughs. Tilts Neville's head, running his fingers through his hair and examining the angles of his face in the moonlight pouring through the drapes with a soft affection in his eyes. "Merry Christmas, Adrian."

 **  
** Yesterday had been as close to perfect as he's ever experienced in his entire life. Which is why it hurts when Neville comes back to consciousness to find himself alone in bed. Sun pouring into his eyes. He chokes back tears and takes a few deep breaths, reminding himself. His vow to remind TJ, day after day, until something snaps and life resumes normally. Or he loses his mind entirely. Whichever comes first.

　

He sniffs, wipes at his eyes, and gets out of bed. Stumbles down the hall into the kitchen and stares at TJ's back as he cheerfully works on... on... French toast. Neville stares down at himself and realizes. He's not dressed like he's been the last few days-- no, he's wearing a pair of TJ's sweatpants. And TJ is wearing one of his old shirts. He swallows hard, tears filling his eyes for an entirely new reason as he walks quietly up to the stove and wraps his arms around TJ from behind, kissing the back of his head, nuzzling into his neck. "This isn't a dream," he mumbles, quietly pleading with TJ to prove to him that yesterday happened, that they both remember it.

　

"Nope, feels pretty real to me," TJ laughs softly, leaning into Neville's warmth and tilting his head so that he can see Neville better. "Hey, are you ok?" He puts the spatula down and twists in Neville's arms so he can face him, brushing his thumbs under Neville's eyes.

　

"It's just been a long few weeks," he exhales, meaning it in so many different ways that he couldn't even begin to figure out how to describe it. TJ's eyes soften and he leans in, kissing Neville's cheeks, lightly licking the salty tear trails off of his skin. "I love you."  
  
TJ's grin is soft, hopeful. "I love you too." He gasps as Neville's hands ease down his back, tugging him closer. "Nev--" Another kiss quiets him and he groans, pressing his forehead to Neville's. "Breakfast," he whispers. "Then we can do whatever you want to do. Alright?"

　

Neville closes his eyes, trying to calm his racing heart as he absorbs this. That time is back to normal, everything he did wrong for those ten days nothing but a cautionary tale in the back of his mind, of how bad things can get if he falls back into bad patterns. He can have a normal relationship with TJ now, kissing him into 2018, where they'll work together to figure out how to get their professional lives back on track. They have all of the time in the world now.

　

He smiles. "Do you like ice skating?"

 


End file.
